"I don't remember any pumpkins," Mat Jenin Says

"Guys who don't focus on the work in front of them, don't have the right to talk about their dreams."
[Spoken by the character, Kuwabara Atsushi in Bambino, a Japanese drama series.]

These words answered one of my questions about big dream management, i.e. to push the wall of reality but still aim to reach for stars above. Or let us put it the other way, dream as big as you want, but remember, the present hour needs you too. 

One of methods I profoundly agree to avoid being a Mat Jenin.

The line refreshed my first so-called dream for Medicine alive. It was technically made into a promise back then, witnessed by three officers and three other applicants during JPA Scholarship interview 5 years ago. 

2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, late January 2013. Almost 5 years now.

I miss that Psychiatry-Psychology passion. As for the time being, let's just hope M will be more hardworking, right? 




p/s: cabaran lembaran Forensik dan Toksikologi. Tiga helai kemudian terdodoi lena. 

Safe Player

Tomorrow, at 1 pm, I'll be sitting for an OSPE (Objective Structured Practical Examination), better known as 'Practical Exam' among us, for the subject, 'Community Medicine'. 

I have something to tell you. Practically,

I am a risk taker.

It was this whole MedTeam interview thing. One interviewer asked me to pick just one name I would prefer to call myself.

"I don't think I can describe myself any better than people around me. In most risky occasions, my friends often see me as a calm person. Even if you're taking risk, you're in ought to do it the right way." I said.  

Yes. A brief example; If you like to skip class , do it systematically WITH good strategies and patterns. The lesser friends to join you, the lesser burden. (Read: skipping class is totally uncool, dude.)

or

A bizarre example; if you want to be an exam-oriented college chap, go through past years exam questions analysis. Read your professors' minds. Wait, there's more. Unsatisfied with the present the questions trend? 

Manipulate your Head of Department decision makings. Get into his mind. Or what if, instead of studying for exams sake, make it no more exams. Once you reach the Head of Department's mind, you know what you have to do. Wink! 

Amoi 1: Are you by any chance, delusional?
M: Yes.

I tried to justify the inappropriateness to stick to only one name . 

"We have both sides inside us...," me making my answers longer. Possibly made my listeners bored. 

My adrenaline engorged like crazy. But he kept provoking me. 

"A risk taker, or safe player?"

He did well and somehow helped me knowing my own self.  I felt so unpleasant, so unfamiliar to be called, 'safe-player.' But I still wanted to try rationalize that there is no such thing as a 'safe-player'. 

Amoi 2: Delusional, obsessive poor little girl... 

Anyone taking safe choices has to bear different consequences too. 

"So what's the differences? The safe players are taking chances too, by picking the so-called safest option. Hazards could be anywhere. In your closet, lavish winter coats, extra cheese pizzas and your warm, cute little bedroom. You know you can't really trust your seat belts anymore, don't you? The question is, who decides 'safety'? None!" I insisted in my little mind. 

To end up the beating question, 

"Risk taker." 

Dengan nada pasrah. Haha.

p/s: I love all the interviewers! Thanks especially to 'him' for  spicing up our 'conversation', such an interactive way to interview. My apology for being so shakily unorganized in speech that day.