Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Rolling Stone

“You look calm. Maybe Ophthalmology suits you after all. You love research too, am I right?”

Honestly, I do pray for calmness in this exam. I am just an average student. Worst thing can happen in Final Exam but I just need to be calm and keep going. Everybody knows how ugly it gets when I have my panic attack.

Being calm all day does not mean I do not cry at night. I even cried the night before my birthday. Or could it be the circadian rhythm? Anyways, one video literally saved my head.

Secondly, I decided not to aim any speciality now despite I do have interests in several areas. Not the perfect timing yet. It takes more than a fresh medical graduate.  

I miss Adik. This February will be his second visit to Cairo. First one was when he and my parents performed umrah. He was 17 that time. This January 7, he will turn 21.

In the meantime, 

 “I feel like throttling someone,” she said, either to express tension of studying or anger towards a person.

“You can throttle me,” I offered. I cannot remember if she actually throttled me or not. I think she did, gently.

“Which way would you like? Eh, differences between chocking, strangling, throttling… blah blah blah,” we recalled bits of Forensic Medicine before I returned to my room. I remember the days when I was fascinated by how we can estimate distance range of shooting just by examining the gunshot wound. 

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Raspberry Flavoured

I am happy that H still calls me BFF. I hope she had a smooth flight back to Dublin. I slept from 2 to 3.30 pm today. So now, at 3.04 am, I still cannot get myself to sleep.
A month at home meant a tremendous therapy for me. 

Basically, I talked to Adik about almost everything. From discussing the ‘Interstellar’ movie to whether Adik might or might not keep a pet in his own house one day, we are best friends at home.

He struck me when he asked, “Kak, kau balik bila?”

His next semester starts on September, in the same week I return to Cairo, probably a day late or early from September 5.

Tonight he asked, “Kak, perlu ke join usrah kat U?” which reminded me when I joked, “Kau tak join Sahabat Surau? Bagus betul ni ada kawan kau jadi Sahabat Surau.” Sometimes I wonder if my younger brother is able to take me seriously. Because I make stupid jokes all time.

I don’t exactly recall his reply but I did spontaneously said, “Kadang – kadang kau perlukan pedoman time kat U,” regarding the usrah thing.

The previous week or two, I once said to him, “Aku pun bukanlah budak usrah. Tak berapa nak ‘semangat tarbiyah’ (Adik and I giggle). Apatah lagi kemalasan tak terbendung.” Nothing funny about it but we laughed. You know… That kind of laugh during a decent conversation with the loved one. No need for jokes. We do not get that every day, do we?

I am such a bad influence. But hey, campus life is so much more exciting that you do not need your sister to figure things out. 

p/s: Just me and my second mug of tea. 

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Angel Who Fell

We should not consume it before fasting. But it is so magical that it helps me solving conflict and stress many times! I drank the whole mug at about 2.30 am. I am still fine right now. Oh my coffee...

With coffee, my breathing is tremendous and I don’t easily weep over all my stupidities. Even if I do, I don’t feel as remorse as I would have. I guess caffeine magnifies the cerebral transmission while leaving the sober areas in good pace.

Anyways recently, H posted, “I miss her but I couldn't get over the fact that our friendship was broken just because of a guy, years before.”

I stalked H, my best friend from high school. I know, how pathetic is that, right? She will be so mad if she knows. Hehe. 

“…Maybe it’s about time to forget…,”in another post. Luckily I was not too emotional reading the post. Thanks once again, coffee.

I am surprised H still recalls the event. I mean, she made new friends in her college. Practically, she is living a happier life and being friendly as she always is. I cannot believe she is affected by what happened when we were sixteen.

As Ramadhan 2015 is about to end, I aim to be more friendly and love people more. I feel I do not love people enough. Maybe all the dramas  come from hatred within myself. Perhaps if I love people more, all the love will come back to me. So no issues of back stabbing or whatever.

Sunday, March 29, 2015

Ways to Appreciate a Chick

Tidur 15 minit yang efektif buat aku terkenang – kenang. Euforia lepas tu, macam dah dapat kopi dan coklat.

Habis kertas Andrology dan Dermatology hari ini, campak bantal dan tidur. Segar bugar nak buat apa – apa lepas tu. Sebelum ni yang terbaru, tidur 30 minit paling nikmat, petang sebelum aku keluar buat kerja Sumbang Suara. Ambil risiko tak pasang alarm dan tidur. Bangun - bangun,

“Nyaman sungguh bilik tuan rumah ni. I’m ready to go!” balik rumah sewa sendiri dan bersiap ke majlis berkenaan.

Lompat ke tajuk masakan malas el-M inspired by Housemate L.

Tempoh hari aku masak ayam bakar. Resepi yang sepatutnya untuk kecemasan. Belum saat genting aku dah guna resepi kecemasan ni, maksudnya penyakit Sendi Malas tu dah datang.

2 ulas bawang putih, 2 bawang merah saiz sederhana, 2 serai, serbuk jintan dan ketumbar. Garam dan gula secukup rasa. Kisar. Macam kurang rasa hari tu. Aku rasa aku patut masukkan serbuk kunyit/daun kunyit.


Lulurkan pada seluruh ayam seekor, luar dan dalam. Sapu minyak pada dulang pembakar. Terus masukkan dalam ketuhar yang telah pun dipanaskan ke suhu 200⁰C selama 10 minit.                                                                                                        

Sejam confirm masak.

Sambil tu sejam boleh guna untuk ulangkaji  atau menangis teresak – esak menyesali zaman messed up kau. Bunyi je loceng ketuhar tu, boleh terus laung dari dalam bilik sambil lap hingus (kata mnangis teresak – esak kan?),

You all, dinner dalam oven tau…!”

Yang penting, masak cara begini membolehkan kau lebih hargai rasa ayam tu. Bosan juga hari – hari masuk larutkan rasanya dalam sup atau kuah.

p/s: rindu nak masak ikan bakar ala Portugis stail Sendi Malas Tahap 4.

Saturday, January 10, 2015


As a quick review about the past two or three weeks,

I only want sugary foods. Chocolates, sweets and sweeter coffee. It was freaky enough to realise I tripled the amount of sugar in my 3 in 1 coffee. You know that 3 in 1 coffee already has sugars in it, right? So yeah.

Is it the winter? Or the hidden stress? I don’t care. At one time while studying, I can grasp firmly and say, “I want sweet foods!”

I almost ate all the candies, given by our neighbour from 10th floor. This year, I have to spend a little more for studies and plan for life after graduation. I need a lot of chocolates that I must allocate a special budget for it. Or if I can restrain myself, I can save money.

Just kidding.

Amoi 1: Actually, no. She’s dead serious. She could eat you, but sprinkles sugars first if she’s desperate enough.
M: Shut up.

But the sweetest of all is to have such a confident, adorable pal.

Aku sekarang nak benda manis je.”
Aku kan ada.”


By the way, do you know that koshary tastes even better with a squeeze of lemon/lime?