He Said He Lead Revolution

Look what I found as I was eliminating little brother's old things. A pure teen essay! Aww... 

UJIAN PRESTASI 2, 2012.

Section B: Continuous Writing
Question 4 

When I was a kid, I always imagine myself as an important figure for the whole people throughout the world. I was wearing black suit with a red necktie and my hair was slick and shiny. My body and soul were reunited in such a manner that I was able to confront thousands of people in front of me. Those were admirers, reporters and investors waiting for my voice to silence the opposition lurking behind their own shadows.

What was I thinking about? Was it to become the prime minister? Well, actually I was thinking about something else. From my watery eyes, I observed the nature and its living things. I could almost feel how it flowed smoothly as it was planned.

So, I decided to do something extraordinary for my people. I have watched my brother fallen in the battlefield. Houses were burnt. Families were forced to leave their village. Because of war, everything was torn apart. I had decided to join the army as it was my only choice left.

I became a medical assistant. Everywhere I went, medical kits would always be within my grasp because anytime soldiers would need me. As if medical kits were my weapon in the battlefield. However, it was not long before I changed my weapon into a real one. It was that day when I followed my platoon into a forest. The mission was to ambush the enemy and loot their ammunition and firearms.

Unfortunately, we were overwhelmed by the enemy. Almost everyone was shot down. Quickly enough I traded my medical kits with a rifle from a dead soldier. From that point I became a soldier.

For a long period of time I served in the army with a good reputation. I was expected to receive a promotion from my leader. And eventually I replaced the remaining leader and became the General of the Army.

With my intelligence I ordered my army to carry out many war tactics towards my enemy. My enemy feared me because of that successful warfare. At the same time, I recruited new soldiers from numerous villages throughout the country. I also had a large number of followers from different villages I had united earlier.

From huge supports I had received, I finally defeated my enemy and overthrown the ruling party. I became the president   of my country. All my efforts were paid off and I gave my speech in front of my people. I swore in front of them that I would exterminate poverty from this nation. I will build hospitals for the villagers. And above all, I will change this country into a democratic country.

Everyone cheered and clapped as I finished my speech. Although I had to use the hard way to become the president, I had no other choice. I was a hero. I have lead a revolution. Finally, I have achieved my greatest triumph. 

Hmm, what about question 1, 2, 3 and 5? Let's see...

Write a composition of about 350 words on one of the following topics:

1. A mother's sacrifice (this one, maybe I could write about mommy kitty. Just imagine, Persian cats talking? From pampered baby to perished happiness?)

2. The advantages and disadvantage of blogging (Boring...)

3. Ways of preventing illegal motorcycle racing (You seriously must be a hardcore bookworm to write a GOOD one, kids. Because EVERYBODY can write this.)

4. Write a story ending with:
    "...Finally, I have achieved my greatest triumph."

5. Silence (Ideas ramification alert!)

So... this chunky little brother of mine picked Question 4. Good ideas, inspiring, some vocab and impressive imagination there I can see. I believe he added both his interests; war games and politics into the chronology. Day-dreaming too. :p

But yeah, it's an everyone's problem. Grammar. I edited some of the errors. Overall, he deserved that 40/50 his teacher marked. 

Ah... I smell originality. Or not? I hate plagiarism (Even few teachers encourage that! What kind of teacher who would tell students to memorize essays? Grr...). 

Nah, I still think this comes straight from him. He won't memorize others' essay. He barely memorize anything. Haha.

Amoi 1: Suddenly being a critic? 

M: Merely for fun.

p/s: wasting filling my leisure time here.