Alone

As I had finished my last minute dinner (of which by last minute decision, as I thought I was going to skip dinner tonight), my eyes rotated to a point where one INTEC student stood. Am I homesick or what? I started to think about my one and only brother. That boy, seeming like he was returning from buying some food was like waiting for something, or waiting a moment he will feel utmost confident to go back to the hostel. My brother is not a confident one in doing things alone. Maybe I was wrong, we can't judge a book by its cover. Maybe it's true he was waiting someone. Maybe he thought, 'Where on Earth my friend is now?"

Seeing the boy standing alone before crossing the road, I questioned myself. How would I go further to get my first degree if I am not by my brother's side? I never approve him doing things alone because if possible, I want to keep on eye at every single thing he was doing daily. What might he is doing now tonight? Has he did his homework? Is he ready for school tomorrow? As the elder sister, this always runs into my mind. What would my brother be without me? Or who will guide him and who will teach himself about being assertive and not being influenced by bad elements around him? My brother is a boy, one day he is the man, he is the hope of our family. Therefore I am sure lots of wears and tears are waiting for him one day.

When I told about this worry to my pals, they will most likely saying, "Have a little trust to your brother." I do trust that one piece of descent body, but I do not trust foreign people around him; a.k.a. his friends. I do not know if those who have more than a younger brother or sister will feel the same way as I am. But one thing is for sure, he is the place where I tell my secrets and the head I can argue with without worrying about forgiveness, as brothers and sisters always forgive each other. Well, he should be rady to be only son, as he will face days without his sister, whether he wills it or not.

So, when I found out what is it like to be in the university environment, I supposed, how far can I leave my brother like that? Would he be able to get into this survival of the fittest? Hope he'll find his way then. He is a boy. What if the other boys are stronger of him and taking his presence for granted? Gosh! Too many assumptions and questions. I imagined myself in ten years to come that I will drive my brother to his college and helping him with the registration. I like to think about the future and now I am planning for the best.

The sadding part of all, next year he will be sitting for his PMR examination. By that time I am not on the land of Malaysia anymore. I remembered a night just before UPSR examination will start, I gave him last minute tips. I am sure it had worked. My brother got all A's in UPSR examination. Every single event are so important. Especially when it comes to my brother. I swore to myself to make him happy before other people when my parents are gone. Upps, have i mentioned this 'brother and sister' thing in my last post? Like I care! From now I officially pronounce the new theme of this blog as the 'emergent emotion which never speak'. Haha.